The Secrets We Keep

It’s October! Which means that two years ago (!), right around this time, I thought I had the stomach flu found out that I was pregnant. It was a pretty miserable miraculous time; I felt very confused about the fact that I wasn’t supposed to share the news until I hit 12 or 13 weeks, when the pregnancy was deemed “viable.” So between watching serial episodes of The Good Wife trying to teach my students without puking, I wrote about it.

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This week, the Archipelago on Medium published my essay, I’m Pregnant. So Why Can’t I Tell You? (How’s that for a direct title?) This is a subject that people have wildly differing views about (SHARE! DON’T SHARE!). The discussion about it out there in the cyber world is already mind-blowing. (I especially love the comments made by people who clearly don’t read very closely.) I’m always curious to hear what you think. xo

2 thoughts on “The Secrets We Keep

  1. Emma Duncan

    I’m not good with exciting news, I just spill the beans as soon as I see 2 lines! Even when I had a miscarriage I didn’t mind that my friends knew because then they knew why I was so sad. I think the whole secret thing’s a bit superstitious but each to their own!

  2. Sarah

    I saw a link on ‘a cup of jo’ today with a link to your article. I love your article. I wish everyone I know well would read it all to help them understand me more. I find reading what you’ve written really comforting. In October I lost my third wee baby at 19 weeks. I had a 7week miscarriage before my 3 year old boy and a 6 week one earlier this year and didn’t imagine it would happen again so late on.

    I sent my husband the link saying this woman is me! I spent from the 5th week to the 18th (then I ran out of episodes) watching every available Good wife episode that was on Netflix in the uk and the intro music still makes me think of that time. I dread the thought of experiencing all the sickness, loneliness, exhaustion and merely existing just to get through the day again with the risk of loss again.

    Having lost our wee boy in October, your questioning who are we protecting hits the nail on the head- people just don’t want to know how very difficult it can be to bring a healthy baby into the world.

    This all sounds bleak, I’m sure a doctor would also think I’m in good spirits but it is so hard and so sad.

    I’m so glad you went on to have a healthy baby though.

    I’m honestly never one to be so public, to write a message to a stranger but reading someone who not only understands sickness but loss and the good wife seemed too good to not say how much I appreciate what you wrote. Thank you.

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